Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)

Directed by Michael Pressman | Starring Paige Turco, David Warner, Michelan Sisti, Ernie Reyes Jr., and Vanilla Ice

Cowabunga—this sequel knows exactly what it is, and it doesn’t apologize for it.

I caught this one at our local drive-in’s 35th anniversary screening (shout-out to Kingdom Media Club for putting it together), and with a beautiful sunset as a backdrop producer Kim Dawson gave a Q&A before the movie which really drove home how much heart went into keeping this sequel fun and accessible.

Here’s the thing: if you’re thinking about letting your kids watch this, or if you’re feeling nostalgic yourself, you’re not going to run into anything that’s going to blindside you. The turtles are fighting bad guys, cracking jokes, and being goofy—which is pretty much the whole point. The fight scenes are genuinely well-choreographed and fun to watch. There’s no blood or gore to worry about, no sexual content (just a quick joke with a Michelangelo poster that lands and moves on), and the dialogue is playful without being annoying.

Yeah, you’ll hear some name-calling (“stupid,” “idiot”), and there’s one bit of crude humor, but it’s mild stuff. One character smokes, so that’s worth noting. The action gets a little chaotic when the bad guys tear through the city, but it’s the kind of mayhem that feels like controlled chaos in a superhero movie—not gratuitous.

The acting is deliberately over the top, and the dialogue has puns that land more often than they miss. Michael Pressman directs the whole thing with this self-aware energy that says: “We know this is a movie about talking turtles, so let’s have fun with it.” And they do.

If your kids are 7 or older and you want something that doesn’t require much thinking but delivers genuine entertainment—and honestly, if you want something the whole family can enjoy together without cringing—this is a solid choice. It’s the kind of movie that knows its place and does that place really well.

Available to rent or purchase on Prime (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/4pE2Wmj

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

Ninja Turtles is a fun revamped blast from the past. With all of the internet rumors over the past 2+ years that producer Michael Bay was going to ruin the Turtles by making them aliens from a distant planet of other anthropomorphic animals, the future box office success of this reboot looked bleak. However, after seeing this movie, I can say that all of the doom-and-gloomers weren't giving director Jonathan Liebesman the credit he deserves for helming this fun summer movie. The soundtrack isn't as stellar as in some other recent movies (Guardians of the Galaxy, specifically), but the background music adds to the movie's atmosphere. Megan Fox actually seems to be doing more than just being there for sex appeal. I was against her casting as soon as I heard it and thought the movie would be dreadful with her as April, but I thought she made for a very convincing soon-to-be investigative reporter. The voice actors wouldn't have been my choice. They're not horrible, but with all of the previous incarnations of the Turtles that I've been through and seen, I was let down. The voices fit the Turtles' individual personalities but were mostly bland. There were some parts of the origin story that I didn't think made sense. I'd go into more detail, but I don't want to spoil it for those looking forward to seeing it. 

Overall, I'd give this movie
                                  out of